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There's an epidemic in this country. It involves vampires.
The common sight of teenage girls and their boyfriends acting out Edward Cullen fantasies has spread to 43-year-old men who actively take on the role of Bill Compton from HBO's True Blood.
Even worse? Instead of screaming for Sookie and jealously hating on hotter vampires, they're biting 3-year-old boys on the neck.
Why Mark Adams was watching True Blood with a toddler is unknown. Why he decided to act out the raunchy vampire drama is even more of a mystery.
But, when the Wisconsin man was babysitting a 3-year-old boy recently, he got caught up in the True Blood world, and felt that it was time to "goof around," "wrestle," and "nuzzle" with the boy, reports The Smoking Gun.
And then it occurred to him to bite the child--three times on the neck--sending the boy into a crying fit until his mother came home.
He said it wasn't intentional, notes The Smoking Gun.
Adams pled guilty to felony child abuse, earning him 30 days behind bars and 3 years of probation, reports The Sheboygan Press. Unfortunately, this is a pretty standard punishment for first time offenders, especially when they accept a plea agreement.
In happier news, Adams, is not a pedophile.
Or at least that's what he yelled at the boy's mother while attacking her, according to the paper.
Human blood makes True Blood vampires stronger, but, unfortunately for Mark Adams, it doesn't make them smarter.