Block on Trump's Asylum Ban Upheld by Supreme Court
Michael Kevin Lallana is a sick, sick man.
Convicted of two misdemeanor counts of battery for ejaculating into his co-worker's water bottle (twice!), an Orange County judge Friday sentenced him to 180 days in jail, three years probation, and ordered him to register as a sex offender.
Apparently he just wanted to feel close to his co-worker.
A woman, identified only as Tiffany G., worked with Michael Kevin Lallana at Northwestern Mutual Financial Network in Newport Beach during the time that these incidents took place, reports KTLA. Though they didn't know each other, Lallana found Tiffany attractive.
Tiffany told the jury that, in January 2010, she drank from a water bottle left in her office and felt sick. When it happened a second time in April 2010, she saved the bottle and did a little sleuthing of her own.
Eventually, Human Resources tested the water, and the O.C. Weekly reports that tests confirmed that the bottle contained semen belonging to Michael Kevin Lallana.
Lallana told police that he "felt that it was as close as he could get" to Tiffany and that he chose the bottle because "her lips touched it," according to KTLA. This elevated the charges to a sex-related offense.
Lallana's lawyer told KTLA that he didn't understand the jury's decision--there was no application of force, so there was no battery.
Battery is technically defined as an intentional and unlawful use of force or violence, but Lallana's lawyer should know better.
Courts often construe violence to include intentionally causing a harmful or offensive substance to come into contact with another person, and Lallana's actions certainly fit the bill.