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Workers at Lawrence City Hall knew there was a toilet paper thief amongst them, but for a while there, they couldn't figure out which one of their coworkers stole toilet paper from the building's bathroom.
Finally, at the end of last week, they learned that it was an outside job, perpetrated by none other than Lawrence, Massachusetts resident Roger Pinkham.
But only after he tried to frame his brother.
Roger Pinkham was caught red-handed last week when an employee noticed him carrying a box down the stairs and alerted police, reports the Eagle-Tribune.
Armed with security camera footage of him hauling the box—about 20 rolls—the paper reports that he admitted to officers that he had taken toilet paper from the building about five or six times, as well as some other supplies.
And how did he sneak the paper out of the building?
If it’s any indication of his past misdeeds, when he went to hand his belongings over at the police station, Roger Pinkham undressed and pulled six tightly folded rolls from around his groin area.
Rightfully embarrassed by his odd predilection, AOL also reports that he told police that his name was David Pinkham—his brother.
The fact that the toilet paper thief is now being charged with theft clearly indicates that, even though certain supplies are placed out for general use, taking them en masse is akin to theft.
Yes—you can be arrested for stealing free items, as there are implied conditions of use that, when violated, amount to an unlawful deprivation of properly.
Moving on, only one question remains.
Roger Pinkham clearly stole toilet paper, but what else did he steal? And where did he hide it?