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On Monday, Police in Cape Coral, Florida arrested Owen Lemire Kato, a man who shall henceforth be known as the McDonald's Pimple Popper.
The 23-year-old was allegedly standing near a McDonald's entrance for at least 10 minutes while popping pimples on his back in a bid to gross out customers.
No one is exactly sure what incited such a dermatological display.
Or what anatomical deformity allows one to complete such a gruesome task.
Anyway, after complaints from customers, The News-Press reports that police were called to remove the assailant from the property as a trespasser, but when they arrived, he told them that his name was John Smith.
Then he fled the scene.
Finally caught by police, the McDonald's Pimple Popper was allegedly carrying a syringe used to inject Oxycotin, and was determined to have a warrant out for his arrest on the grounds that he had been driving without a license.
He's now been charged with resisting arrest, giving a false ID to an officer, and possession of drug paraphernalia.
But wait, what about the backyard eruptions? Wasn't that illegal?
On first read, popping one's back pimples outside of a McDonald's for the sole purpose of offending others could be considered disturbing the peace in Florida, where the crime is defined as those acts that "outrage the sense of public decency."
However, the McDonald's Pimple Popper is lucky that, in general, the "public decency" can only constitutionally be "outraged" by those acts which are lewd and obscene--not merely gross.