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Naked Man Covered in Crisco Just Wanted 'To Party'

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By Andrew Chow, Esq. on August 13, 2012 6:44 AM

If nudity and Crisco cooking spray sound like your idea of a party, consider giving Chad William Forber a call.

Police say Forber, 41, of Blue Grass, Iowa, sprayed himself with Crisco last week and then pranced around naked in downtown Rock Island, Ill., in the middle of the night.

"He said he was looking for a place to party," Rock Island's police chief told The Quad City Times.

No surprise, Forber was also allegedly caught with drugs in his possession. But with no clothes on, where could he possibly have hidden the contraband?

Chad William Forber hid his alleged stash of methamphetamine in his shorts, police told the Associated Press.

The shorts were still in Forber's slippery hands when the naked Crisco partier was arrested about 3:30 a.m. on Aug. 6. Forber reportedly told cops he'd shimmied out of his shorts because they were too big and wouldn't stay up.

Forber was also carrying a can of Crisco cooking spray. News reports do not indicate whether this was Crisco Original, Crisco Butter Flavor, or Crisco Olive Oil No-Stick Cooking Spray. (We hope butter, because butter makes things better.)

There's also a combined Crisco-Pillsbury canola-oil-and-flour cooking spray on the market. But that just sounds a bit too messy.

Forber was taken to jail, and was charged with methamphetamine possession, possession of drug paraphernalia, and resisting a peace officer, according to The Quad City Times.

But one charge didn't stick: The court dismissed an additional count of lewd exposure -- probably because that crime requires an "intent to arouse or to satisfy the sexual desire of the person," according to Illinois law. Apparently Forber's naked cooking-spray display didn't arouse anybody.

Chad William Forber is being held on $40,000 bail. Until he pays up, any naked Crisco partying will have to be confined to his jail cell.

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