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A Florida man allegedly attempted to murder his sleeping wife, but instead broke his own neck. Steven Pinel, 49, otherwise known as The Worst Criminal Ever, allegedly tried to shoot his wife in the face around midnight as she slept in their Bradenton home.
The blow, however, "didn't render her unconscious," the local police chief told the Bradenton Herald.
The chief said "there was an issue" with the gun and Pinel was unable to keep firing. His wife was able to flee.
That's when Poor Pinel's Lemony Snickett-style series of unfortunate events began...
Under Arrest in His Undies
After his wife ran off, Pinel -- wearing only his undies -- also fled the scene. Police say he crashed his car in a ditch and broke his neck.
He also allegedly tried to carjack someone who stopped to help him, but failed because the woman refused to give him her car keys and drove away, a Manatee County Sheriff's spokesman told the Herald.
Poor, poor Pinel.
By the end of the epic carjacking fail, the 911 call center was getting flooded with calls regarding a bloody naked man banging on cars with a metal object and carrying a handgun.
When police arrived on the scene, they found Pinel laying on the ground -- maybe finding his inner safe space?
Pinel was arrested and taken to the hospital to treat his broken neck.
But the police rewarded Pinel with an "A" -- not so much for effort, but for attempt.
It's not clear what Pinel's potential defense may be. Perhaps he intended only to scare or injure his wife, and not kill her? If he can prove that, then he may be able to beat the attempted murder charge.
If convicted of domestic violence, however, Pinel likely won't be able to own firearms anymore under Florida law.
His wife's injuries are not considered life-threatening, although the small caliber bullet that hit her in the face "did significant damage."
Best of luck to the Bonehead Bandits.