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A topless woman's lawsuit against the NYPD is making the Big Apple's po-pos look like a bunch of boobs when it comes to melons.
Jessica Krigsman, a 24-year-old burlesque dancer, was sunbathing topless in a park when two officers ordered her to put her shirt back on.
Krigsman refused, asserted her legal rights, and was arrested -- but the police got the law wrong in a big, busty way.
The Law = Laaadies, Be Free
"I just like the way the sun feels against my skin," Krigsman said to the New York Post.
But don't let her easy-breezy attitude fool you.
According to her lawsuit, Krigsman responded to the officers' order by citing a 1992 New York case that permits women to go topless in public.
"I'm like, what? Haven't you heard of People v. Santorelli?" Krigsman told the Post. "This has been legal since the '90s. Call your supervisor!"
What can we say? The lady knows her mammary gland rights.
In Santorelli, New York's highest court ruled that this whole topless gender distinction thing is a violation of equal protection. As a result, men and women can romp freely in the buff -- above the waist, mind you! So keep yo pants on.
NYPD = Not Your Bosom Buddy
Despite the Santorelli ruling, NYPD officers are still arresting topless performers.
In this case, after Krigsman asserted her legal rights, officers allegedly told her to stop "mouthing off" and arrested her. She was charged with obstruction of a sitting area -- which sounds like the most boring crime ever -- but the charge was later dropped, reports the Post.
Since Krigsman was in a park where children may have been present, there may have been potential lewdness issues.
From the facts, however, it seems the burlesque dancer wasn't putting on a free show for the public -- she was just sunbathing.
Perhaps Krigsman's lawsuit, seeking unspecified damages and attorney fees, will bring these senseless Big Apple busts to an end.