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A heated fight over a (possibly spicy) meatball led to one Maryland man allegedly stabbing the other -- mamma mia!
On Thursday, the assault suspect, 31, reportedly stabbed his coworker, 36, because he believed his colleague had eaten a meatball from the assailant's lunch. It is unclear if this meatball was from a Subway sandwich or even something homemade, but The Baltimore Sun reports that the alleged meatball menace "fled the scene" shortly thereafter.
What happens when the meatball of friendship turns into the sour marinara stain of stabbing?
Ground Pork, Breadcrumbs, Garlic, Oregano, and Assault
Maryland, known nationwide for its crabcakes and chowders (not meatballs), categorizes food-related attacks much like its sister states -- as assault and/or battery. In the Old Line State, assault can be either a felony or misdemeanor depending on the circumstances, and any form of offensive, unconsented touching can land a convict in prison for up to 10 years.
Since the alleged lunch-inspired attack didn't involve a police or parole officer as a victim, the hungry attacker's chances of being charged with a felony are much lower. But if prosecutors consider the victim's injuries from the stabbing to be severe, or the weapon used to be deadly (it's unclear whether it was a fork or knife), then the potential penalties may increase. Assault with a deadly weapon is often considered a more serious crime than simple assault, and deadly weapons can even include pocket knives.
There are various defenses to assault, but low blood sugar or righteous anger over a stolen meatball don't usually make the list. The Sun reported that the victim was hospitalized by the attack, so the attacker may be in deep... sauce.
Wanted: Alive and Probably Hungry
Since the suspect fled the scene after a lunch that made the Real Housewives look civilized, there was a warrant issued for his arrest. An arrest warrant is grant by a court that affirms there is probable cause to seek out and arrest an individual for a crime.
As of Tuesday, there was no luck in finding and arresting the food-crazed fugitive, but like a batch of good meatballs, his time on the lam isn't going to last long.
He should probably do lunch with a lawyer before that happens. But nothing Italian.