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Get your bleach and sanitary wipes! A serial pooper, aka the "Bowel Movement Bandit," is on the loose in Akron, Ohio.
In a crime spree stretching back to 2012, a man has been defecating on cars over 19 times. Somebody get this guy a porta-potty!
One of his victims, who did not want to be identified for fear of poopy retribution, got fed up after his daughter's car was pooped on seven times. He set up a time-lapse camera, expecting the pooper to do it again. And lo and behold, after two years of pooping with impunity, the mysterious defector has finally been caught on tape.
Akron police are still looking for the poop-etrator. But if they catch him, what's the crime?
One charge that seems to fit is criminal mischief. Ohio's criminal mischief law states, "No person shall without privilege to do so, knowingly move, deface, damage, destroy or otherwise improperly tamper with the property of another." Violation of this law is a third degree misdemeanor, punishable by a maximum of 60 days in jail.
The "bowel movement bandit" has definitely defaced property. It seems he isn't satisfied with just leaving his gifts on the hood of cars. Sometimes he smears his feces all over car windows, door handles, and gas tank covers. One especially unlucky victim left his car unlocked, and was surprised with a warm heap on his passenger seat.
It Wasn't Me!
If caught, the nasty man could face up to 19 charges of criminal mischief, one for each bodily elimination, and if convicted, he could be sentenced to over three years behind bars (a maximum of 60 days per charge). You can see pictures of the defecator in this report by Cleveland's WEWS-TV:
However, because the man was only caught in the act once, prosecutors may have a hard time proving that it was him who pooped on all the other cars. In his defense, it could have been another defecating bandit! Or, perhaps some unlucky victim kept a sample and the police could do DNA testing to flush out the culprit's identity. Unless prosecutors can prove it was actually him who pooped on all those cars, our "Bowel Movement Bandit" may be able to fight off his charges.