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Trail of Macaroni Lead Police to Thieves

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By Christopher Coble, Esq. on May 12, 2015 12:04 PM

If thieves were smart, they wouldn't have needed to be thieves in the first place. Some try to steal honey from a hive of angry bees. Other grown men steal from innocent, defenseless little Girl Scouts. This story is just one more piece of evidence that proves that some criminals are idiots.

Three hungry burglars were arrested recently after police followed a trail of macaroni salad leading from the scene of the crime to the mens' hiding place.

The Crime

Matthew P. Sapetko, James P. Marullo, and Timothy S. Walker allegedly burglarized the New York restaurant, Build A Burger & Ice Cream. The thieves threw a rock through the restaurant's glass door, ripped out the home surveillance system, and smashed the cash register. The master criminals got a grand total of $29 and a container of macaroni salad.

Apparently, the Hansel and Gretel crew had to share the one container of macaroni salad and left a trail of dropped macaroni, the cash register, loose change, surveillance equipment, and a glove, all of which led the police straight to them.

Seriously, why didn't they just each take their own container of macaroni salad?

The Punishment

The macaroni thieves were arrested and charged with third-degree burglary, third-degree criminal mischief, and fourth-degree grand larceny.

In New York, burglary in the third-degree constitutes knowingly entering or unlawfully remaining in a building with intent to commit a crime therein, punishable by up to seven years in prison.

Third-degree criminal mischief is the crime of causing more than $250 of damage to the property of another, punishable with a maximum of four years in prison.

Fourth-degree grand larceny is the crime of stealing property worth more than $1,000, punishable by up to four years in prison.

So for $29 and a container of macaroni salad, these three men are facing up to 15 years in prison. However, the court will probably take mercy on their stupidity and not give them the maximum sentences if found guilty.

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