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Good people of the country looking to mix their love of the virgin birth and The Walking Dead are under attack this holiday season. Jasen Dixon, of Sycamore Township, Ohio, claims vandals trashed his "Zombie Nativity" scene, as the AP put it, "beheading the ghoulish-looking Mary figure and flipping the greenish baby Jesus into the yard."
This attack on religious freedom should be unsettling for any American who believes in both the impending zombie apocalypse and the inevitable rapture.
The Star of Deathlehem
Dixon told Cincinnati's WCBO that the main structures housing the zombie statutes "were destroyed." "They knocked over three of the characters," he said, "and flipped baby Jesus out into the yard." Vandals also beheaded Mary (one of the only known ways to kill a zombie), and strew her clothes around in the yard.
The display has been controversial since it burst onto the holiday scene in 2014. Sycamore Township officials originally told Dixon the display violated zoning ordinances, and ordered him to remove it. The township later dropped the case after Dixon's attorney argued officials were suppressing his freedom of speech.
Rising From the Dead
While undead/Bible mash-ups might be more appropriate around Easter, Dixon says he won't be swayed by act of anti-zombie Christmas vandals. "I expect it," he told Cleveland.com. "There's going to be mad people. I wasn't mad or anything -- I'm like, 'We'll fix it,' and I was just happy they didn't steal anything."
Just as Jesus was stoic in the face of non-believers and like the undead just keep coming after your brains, Dixon will ensure his "work of art" lasts right through zombie Christmas, and maybe even beyond. "If they burn it down, we'll rebuild it," he said. "No big deal." If we're lucky, this controversy can rise from the grave next year, as well.