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Recently in Dumb Crime Category

Teacher Arrested for Classroom 'Fight Club'

Some stories just leave you shaking your head -- like news about Bill Cosby or anything recent involving Lindsay Lohan. And things take a special turn when the story involves teachers behaving badly or children getting hurt.

After a series of events that combines both, a former substitute math teacher has been arrested and charged for essentially supervising a classroom "fight club." It's hard to see what a fight club has to do with math, but at least the teacher can use his skills to add up the amount of jail time he's facing if convicted.

Virginia Man Runs Over Himself, Faces DUI Charge

There are many straightforward ways that a person can get a DUI: being pulled over for driving erratically, DUI checkpoints, or being involved in a car accident. And then, there are less conventional ways to get a DUI, such as while riding a horse on the freeway.

Regardless of how you end up being arrested for a DUI, your day or night turns from good to bad in an instant. But, being charged with a DUI after being hit by your own car, is just adding insult to injury. While this may sound like something out of a TV show or movie, it actually happened to a man in Virginia.

Here's a good rule of thumb: If it's illegal for Amazon, it's illegal for you, too. For years, the mega-retailer has been trying to utilize drone delivery, even experimenting with exploding drones (for safety's sake, you see), to no avail. So if Amazon can't use a drone to deliver that book to your door, you probably can't use one to deliver bud to a customer.

This would've been helpful information, perhaps, for Benjamin Paul Baldassarre and Ashley Lauren Carroll, who police claim had been using a drone to distribute drugs throughout their Riverside, California neighborhood.

Top 5 Dumb Crimes of 2017

We cover some strange and stupid crimes here on Legally Weird, so it's always nice to have an opportunity to look back on the strangest and the stupidest. And the year-end gives us just that opportunity.

So here are five of the dumbest crimes and criminals we've written about this year, for your reading pleasure.

The First Law of Holes states that 'if you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.' Case in point: If you hired a hit man to kill your wife, and that hit man turned out to be a cop, you probably don't want to hire another hit man to kill the first. Chances are, that hit man is a cop too, and you've just added another count of "using facilities of interstate commerce in connection with the hiring of a person to commit a murder" to your record.

So when that happens, we have no choice but to wonder whether all hit men are actually undercover cops.

There are all kinds of scams out there: the omnipresent grandparent scam; the finger-painting scam, so popular in the posh kindergartens these days; and, of course, the fake baby funeral scam.

And there's the classic, shoot yourself and your significant other in a faked home invasion to get settlement money from the property manager scam; an oldie, but a goodie.

If you were a prisoner in upstate New York looking for help with your parole case, the NYS Prisoner Assistance Center and an attorney named Mario Vrendenburg might've looked like a good option. Over 400 other prisoners and their families thought the same, handing over more than $23,000 to have the firm handle administrative parole appeals and other legal matters.

The only problem, according to the New York Attorney General's office, is that there was no NYS Prisoner Assistance Center, Mario Vrendenburg was actually Antonia Barrone, and the fake firm was run out of Barrone's home. Now Barrone is facing at least three years in state prison.

Jason Nissen seems like a swell guy. Fourteen years ago, as a math teacher at a Queens high school, Nissen sold his students tickets to a free Dave Matthews Band concert. And it turns out he's been turning to shady ticket sales tactics ever since to turn a profit.

Nissen has been charged with wire fraud after using a fake premium ticket exchange as the cover for a Ponzi scheme. Nissen's told investors it would acquire and resell "premium tickets for events like the Super Bowl, the World Cup and the Broadway hit 'Hamilton.'" Instead, it used later investors' funds to pay back initial investors, cheating them out of over $70 million.

"You know what will be great," the civil fine-burdened man thinks to himself, "I'll just pay the whole thing in pennies. That will really show them."

Jokes about paying fines in change have existed since coins were invented, apparently, but most of us don't follow through on the threat because most of us are adults capable of understanding that dumping a bunch of pennies on a civil servant's desk is a lot of sound and fury signifying nothing. Still, some of us try to make a statement in copper-plated coins and need to be reminded that no, they don't have to take your pennies.

Dr. Kadri, a plastic surgeon with an office on Los Angeles's famous Rodeo Drive, has reported that a former employee has stolen thousands of patient records. While privacy rules prevent the doctor from disclosing whether the records stolen include any celebrities, the doctor did explain that the plastic surgery practice has helped countless affluent individuals from many different states and countries.

The employee quit after being confronted about embezzling money. When she quit, she claimed to have lost the company cell phone. However, the cell phone was found at the practice's Palmdale records storage office, after discovering the location had been burglarized. As such, the theft of the 15,000 patient records (the actual paper records) is presumed to be the work of this former employee. Unfortunately, what was found on the phone gave the doctor even more pause.