Free pens are so 1995. Who writes things on paper anymore? And calendars? We have these things called smartphones -- they handle our appointments.
No, if you want to really impress clients with freebies, you'll need to be different. Step your game up. Take your law firm swag game up to 2015 levels, ya dig?
And what could be better than matching your firm-branded freebies with your practice area? We've got a few crazy ideas, and want yours as well.
Bottle Openers (for DUI Attorneys)
This one came to me while ... drinking, actually. You see, I have a Woodstock's Pizza bottle opener from when I was a freshman in college still attached to my keychain. Imagine how long your clients will carry your DUI defense bottle opener with them if you hand those things out -- a year? Five years? Ten?
Here's the (stupid) plan: Order 10,000 bottle openers with your law firm's contact information on them. Go to local grocery stores. Drop a bottle opener in each 12-pack of longnecks that you see. Repeat at every store in the area. Focus on convenience stores near universities if at all possible.
(Disclaimer: This insane idea has not been checked against your local ethics rules. Don't actually do this without consulting the rule book first. Still, pretty clever, eh?)
Tissues (for Family Law Lawyers)
Hey, it gets emotional in there. I'm not afraid to say it: Family law cases can bring a grown man to tears. Child custody, divorce, and other heart-wrenching disputes are a daily thing for family law lawyers, so why not have tissues handy?
And if you can find mini packages of tissues with your firm's name on them (or for probate lawyers to hand out in anticipation of funerals), that's even better!
Other Crazy Ideas
But wait, there's more! How about:
Sure, some of these are terrible ideas; others are not. We're sure you've got a couple of bad ones in you -- share 'em with us on Twitter @FindLawLP.