Sometimes you aim for greatness and fail. Sometimes that failure itself can be a form of triumph, as in the lawyer commercial which begins "Are you thinking of choosing a lawyer based on his dogs?"
Attorney commercials aren't typically Oscar-worthy. Bad lawyer advertising has essentially become its own artistic genre. (We're pretty sure it's a major at Wesleyan.) But some bad lawyer ads are so bad they're brilliant. Here are seven that reach almost sublime-levels of terrible.
1. A Very Dangerous Lawyer
Ken Nugent is so good that "ambulances chase him." There's really not much more that could be said than that.
They could have made a better animated ad with footage from The Sims, that virtual doll house computer game. But it's not just the bad graphics that make this commercial great, it's the execrable rapping. A sample line: "Insurance company ain't about to pay / Can't believe they'd treat me this way."
Savannah, Georgia lawyer Jamie Casino's Super Bowl commercials are more mini-features than advertisements. In this one, Casino reflects on his shift from criminal defense lawyer to, well, something else. (It's hard to tell, but it includes hating the mayor and it was caused by his brother's death.) "At some point a man must ask why God created him," we're told. For Jamie Casino, the answer was: to be the lawyer version of David Blaine -- or maybe a skinny Thor.
A year later, we're given a bit of a different origin story. Now, fighting bullies and defeating cancer bring him to the path of righteousness. Casino literally wields a hammer crafted by a black-winged angel.
This commercial begins with a traditional old-man lawyer asking if you've been injured in a car accident -- until the world's sickest, sleekest PowerPoint presentation breaks through the screen. Yep, this ad seems to be one long, animated .ppt, backed with some of the Internet's finest midi music.
Man, they picked a theme and stuck with it in this commercial. Giant stop light? Check. Constant use of stop, caution, and go? Check. Who knows how much that prop cost, but it was money well spent.
Are you thinking of choosing a lawyer based on his dogs? This lawyer has dogs. What more could you need?
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