Halloween might be our favorite holiday, due in no small part to the fact that it's the only time of year when mellowcreme pumpkins are readily available. (You may think mellowcreme pumpkins are disgusting. You're wrong.)
Despite the Mean Girls declaration that "Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it," there are plenty of respectable Halloween costumes. There are even costumes that can incorporate your love of the Supreme Court and Constitutional Law.
Without further ado, here are our five suggestions for Supreme Court Halloween costumes.
Supreme Court Justice. This is probably the easiest of the bunch: the main element is a black robe. If you still have your Hogwarts robe left over from the year you dressed as one of the Harry Potter characters, just get rid of the Gryffindor scarf, and you're good to go. If you want to be more specific, you could add a curly white wig and a white-lace kerchief to be Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, or stitch glue gold braid on the sleeves to be Chief Justice William Rehnquist. For a more humorous/offensive approach, you could combine a black robe with a hotdog costume, and go as Justice Felix Frankfurter. Sexy Supreme Court Justice, while ill-advised, is also an option.
Fruit of the Poisonous Tree. Speaking of Justice Frankfurter, why not make your costume a nod to his arboriginal inadmissible evidence decision? This seems like a good couples costume: one of you can be the tree, one can be a fruit. Just add the skull-and-crossbones poison symbol to your tree.
Commerce Claus. Pin fake money -- or real money, if you're a baller -- to a Santa suit, and go as Commerce Claus. (No, we'll never tire of the Clause/Claus pun, as bad as it may be.) If you're on the fence about investing in a Santa suit, think of it this way: You can re-use this outfit in December for SantaCon.
Habeas Corpses. Spice up your run-of-the-mill zombie look with a habeas petition.
We know what you're thinking. You don't have time to shop for a costume. You have doc review, depositions, and discovery motions. And only lawyers would find these suggestions mildly humorous.
Admittedly, these aren't the best costume ideas in the world, but they share more than a constitutional thread: All of the implements you need for these outfits can be on your doorstep in 48 hours thanks to the greatness that is Amazon Prime.