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Beyond Ruth Bader Ginger: Other Justices' Ice Creams

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By Mark Wilson, Esq. on April 08, 2015 4:06 PM

An online petition is under way to goad Ben and Jerry's into making a Ruth Bader Ginsburg-themed ice cream. Of course, all the petition says is that the flavor will be "Ruth Bader Ginger," but doesn't go into the details of what would be in such an ice cream.

Probably something to do with gingerbread pieces. This got us to thinking: Why not an ice cream for other Supreme Court justices?

John Roberts: Vanilla

Is it a cheap shot? Of course it is. Is it fitting? You bet. Chief Justice Roberts has excellent credentials -- a little too good. It does seem like he was genetically engineered to become the chief justice. Double Harvard, clerked for Justice Rehnquist, D.C. Circuit judge -- basically, he did everything right. Maybe add a sprinkle of cinnamon because he can be feisty at times.

Antonin Scalia: Extra Sour Key Lime with Raw Cranberries

You thought we'd go the Italian angle, right? Not for Justice Scalia, who deserves the most sour ice cream possible along with bitter raw cranberries inside. Scalia's smart, but acerbic, and angry at Justice Kennedy that his traditional values aren't being upheld any longer.

Elena Kagan: Moose Tracks with Peppercorns and Gummy Fish

Justice Kagan isn't afraid to add a little spice to the Court, whether it's in the form of scathing opinions (as in her dissent to the "is a fish a document?" case) or some fun during oral arguments. (And don't forget her legendary response to a question at her confirmation hearing.) While she and Scalia are fond of hunting together, we don't know if they've hunted moose yet.

Sonia Sotomayor: Arroz con Dulce with Cayenne and Hot Dog Pieces

The first justice of Hispanic dissent (unless you count Benjamin Cardozo, which nobody does), Justice Sotomayor's ice cream would reflect her Puerto Rican roots. Arroz con dulce is a traditional Puerto Rican dessert, containing coconut milk, rice, and cinnamon.

Because Sotomayor has a "fiery" temper, according to Senator Lindsey Graham, we thought we'd also throw a dash of cayenne pepper in there. Oh, and Sotomayor is a New Yorker through and through, so what better way to celebrate her love for the Yankees than to put hot dog pieces in there? (Hey, because it's emblematic of New York doesn't mean it's a good idea.)

Anthony Kennedy: Neapolitan

Some days, you're feeling a little vanilla. Some days, chocolate. And still other days, you're having a strawberry kind of feeling. If, like Justice Kennedy, you just can't make up your mind, then Neapolitan is definitely the way to go. Plus, every day, the media will constantly be wondering which side (of the ice cream) you're going to lean toward. Perfect for the man who cares deeply about his own (ice cream) posterity.

Clarence Thomas: Blueberry Sherbet with Grapefruit and Coca-Cola Swirl

Like Scalia, Justice Thomas is also bitter -- but most especially about graduating from the best law school in the country. That's why he's deserving of a sherbet in a nice Yale Blue with a bitter grapefruit aftertaste. As for the Coca-Cola swirl -- you remember his confirmation hearing, right?

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